What you should and shouldn’t do to a new mom

Your friend or your sister / in-law just had a baby and you’re wondering what you could do or not do to help her out?

I gave birth twice in a one year and a half #WentAllIn , so I know very well what a new mama needs.

When giving birth to a beautiful baby, your life goes upside down. It’s as if all of a sudden you are in survival mode. Due to the lack of sleep, your head keeps turning while your heart tries to manage all these beautiful emotions. It’s a lot to digest all at the same time.

The new mama and her little family often need to be taken care of and even sometimes they need to be saved.

So, here is what you should and shouldn’t do to a new mama and her brand new family 🙂 :

1 . Wait for her call before dropping by for a visit. Don’t ask her when you can come by, she will let you know. If you are a family member or a close friend, she will make sure to send you a text very soon or a call so you can come and meet her new bundle of joy.

2 . Never show up uninvited. If you haven’t heard from her, you may send her a text, but nothing more and she’ll let you know when the time is right.

3 . One of the best gesture you can do is to bring dinner over without staying for dinner. You let them know that you will be coming by to drop off dinner. This is not the moment for you to cuddle with the baby. Once you arrive you stay for about 5 minutes say “Hi” drop off the food and you walk away!

4 . When you come over to meet the baby, it’s always appreciated the bring dinner or lunch with you, without expecting to have dinner with them obviously. #ABreakFromCookingPlease

5 . For the first month and a half the visits have to be short. Seriously. Don’t tell them that you will be coming over for half an hour and end up staying for 2 hours. You know what they say; “ You should take time to rest when your baby is sleeping”  or “It’s important to sleep at the same time as the baby,” . Well, know that when you come over to cuddle their cute sleeping baby, it’s also time you’re taking away from her to rest.

6 . When the new mom tells you that she needs help/ assistance/ a favor/ to see you, is that she really needs you. It’s time to jump in!

7 . A gift is always super appreciated. Often, we bring over a gift for the baby, but it could also be a very good idea to bring something for the mom or the new parents. Something that could help her have a moment to herself. It could be as simple as fine tea, some chocolate, a book, bath products, facial treatment, a basket of fruits or even a bag of candy.

8 . If you’re visiting the baby in the first 3 to 4 weeks of its life, know that you own a very special place in their heart. This also means that you know them well enough to help out with the dishwasher, the garbage or the laundry. It will always be much appreciated.

9 . Playing and taking care of the other kids while visiting. It could be as simple as giving them a snack, changing a diaper or just playing with them for 5 minutes.

So now you know what you should and shouldn’t do to a new mom.

Mamas do you have any other tips you would like to add to this list

  1. Yesterday a couple that we haven’t seen in years decided to drop by on such short notice and ended up staying for 3 hours!!! on top of that they had their kids with them a 10 month old and a 3 year old. I told my husband I need to go to the bathroom. I went to the basement bedroom and cried for 10 minutes. It affected my 3 week old baby’s feeding as well as my pumping time. It was horrible.

  2. My in-laws did this! They felt they were entitle to come over anytime, unannounced and without knocking! After walking in on me breastfeeding multiple times,I had to get nasty and tell them they weren’t welcome without prior approval. They threw a fit and made me out to be the evil Daughter in law. My MIL tried to watch me nurse and pump, she got offended I did not want an audience. Great list!!

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