Written by Valérie Pichet
I hear everywhere that anxiety is the evil of the century. I don’t know if you’re like me, but I’m the kind of person who thinks it just happens to others and that I’m above all that. I thought that looking on the bright side immunized me against anxiety attacks. I thought I was strong enough to hide my problems, to prove to the people around me that I got this! Yet, no.
And that’s precisely what dragged me at the end of my rope.
3 YEARS OF EVERYTHING…
Three years of repressed stress. Three years of damage to a nervous system is a very long time. Three years to cover up my problems, to smile while I wanted to cry my heart out. Three years of trying to find a place where I feel good while everywhere, I don’t feel like I belong. Three years to live with a mask. Three years of unsuccessful search.
But the mask ended up suffocating me.
TAKE A BREAK TO COME BACK STRONGER
I decided to remove it, to show my vulnerability, because deep down, we’re all humans.
So today, I’m back to square one.
I’m full of contradictions, mentally speaking. There’s nothing wrong with thinking about yourself. But I still feel bad about it.
But I should… I can no longer give energy because I’m drained. The nervous system has let go.
The brain is a beautiful machine: to make your body believe that it has physical symptoms while it is, upstairs, that is derailed-exhausted.
So, for the first time in my life, I made the tough decision to let go. Take a break to come back stronger. Whether people around me like it or not.
THE REAL STRENGTH IS TO KNOW OUR LIMITS
Do you, too, feel like you’re letting people down if you overthink about yourself? But the earth will keep spinning, even if you miss work for a few weeks.
Yes, I do feel bad taking this time off because I feel like I’m going to cause problems at work. Because I think everyone will judge me. Because I think I look weak.
But precisely: the real strength is to know your own limits and to know when your body needs rest.
Guess what? Well, they can judge as much as they want! It exhausts me to act like everything is fine when it’s a mess inside my head. I’m more than an exterior, I’m human, and I have weaknesses.
The first step is to accept that you have a problem and to accept the fact that you must stop for a moment. So, you can come back stronger!
This post was translated from French to English by:
Hello! I’m Cassandra, 23 years old and in my second year studying translation at Laval University in Quebec City. I’m learning to translate three languages: French, English and Chinese, which is both exhilarating and challenging! I love jogging, reading and travelling. I’ve just got back from a one-month-trip through Europe.