Wedding: refusing the norm
If you know a little bit about the laws of British Columbia, you may know that here women are allowed to change their last name for their new husband’s last name. In Quebec, after a law was adopted in the sixties, no woman is allowed to change their last name.
That being said, now that I live in BC, people often ask me the question, because here it’s the norm. Most of the women that get married, still to this day, change their last name for their husband’s last name.
A VERY PERSONAL DECISON ( + being a little feminist)
I’ve decided I won’t be changing my last name. I adore more than anything my soon to be husband, which is the reason why we are getting married in the first place #lol ! For me, changing my last name for his, has never been something I wanted out of our marriage. Actually, as soon as we started dating, I told him that if one day we would get married that I would never change my last name for his. That I would always keep my last name. Hahah! I like to plan ahead as you can see!
This decision also challenges my feminist side. Does my last name expire the day I get married? But more seriously, I was a fulfilled person before marrying him, I don’t see why I would have to change my last name the day we get married. So that the whole family can carry the same last name? #Cliché No, thank you! I know that it may seem weird to some people in British Columbia, but to me keeping my last name is the norm. I come from many generations of women who wear proudly their maiden name, I will therefore wear mine proudly as well.
This may not sound normal for a couple living in BC, but it’s who we are. We’ve never been a normal couple; our relationship has been very different from most couples… Why becoming normal the day, we get married? Hahah!
RESPECTING YOUR RIGHTS
If like me, you strongly believe in the women that you are and that you don’t feel like being asked by everyone one the reason why you won’t be changing your last name for your future husband’s last name… It’s time we express ourselves.
In Quebec, a woman has the right to keep her last name, it’s actually not even a question! You are who you are married or not!
Whilst, in other Canadian provinces, many women feel the pressure of taking such a hard decision that will change their identity forever.
It takes a lot of strength to tell your future husband you won’t be taking his last name. To stand there in front of him and see the disappointment on his face, as for some men, having a wife with the same last name as them is the norm.
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF
Do it for you.
If ever your husband disapproves your decision of keeping your last name, then ask him if he would change his for yours. Ask him if he would forget the past 25-30 years to become someone else… If he would deny where he came from, because he promises to love you.
Actually, the boyfriend and I like to joke around and call ourselves “The Nadams”, a blend of both of our last names Nadeau and Adams. This way, everyone keeps their last name! 😉
My name is Sacha Nadeau, and the minute following our marriage I will still be Sacha Nadeau. Together we will be The Nadams family (that loves each other deeply and that refuses to follow the norm of British Columbia 😉 ).
In our home, we love deeper by accepting each other’s past and by respecting the decisions we make together, or not.
Have you ever had to make such a hard decision?
Sacha, 28 years old, I live in Vancouver. My creativity is my biggest asset. I am passionate about beauty, fashion, graphic design, and cooking #WithAGlassOfWine. I like to move, hike and explore the outside world. I see every day as a new chance to learn more. #LiveAndLearn