Trying to get pregnant: My strange and funny experience of reading between the lines… of a pregnancy test

Fact: For some of us, getting pregnant isn’t a piece of cake. It takes time and extreme patience. Many of us also aren’t aware of this harsh reality before it actually happens.

In fact, one study published in the journal Human Reproduction* states that only 38% of women trying to get pregnant succeeded in their first months, leaving 92% of them trying for a long 12 months. You read that right, a whole beautiful year awaits most of us.

It’s not something you think about while trying for a baby until you jump in with both feet, reality hitting you like a wall… the months are going by one after the other sloooowly…

MY MONTHSLONG STORY STARING LINES ON STICKS

No, but seriously, is there anything more frustrating than to pee on a piece of paper/cardboard/sponge thingy waiting for it to tell what’s around the corner?

Every month comes THE DAY (which transforms into DAYS) and forgetting to pee on the mentioned stick at daybreak is not an option unless I wish to wait out the whole day anxiously, fail to a good night of sleep and wake up first thing in the morning to see what the future holds looking in… the toilet bowl, my precious crystal ball.

To the sight of this lonely line on the damned stick, a bit sad, I go back to bed as I google all possible reasons why this test doesn’t believe I am pregnant.

And finally, I tell myself next time it will be numerical readings awaiting, making everything clear. (Right, not an option to search for the second line under sunlight with a flashlight. No, no! ?)

Then, on an infamous morning comes the numerical readings, and this is the result: ?

Whaaaaaaat? Excuse me “?” ?

Argggggggggg.

I’m up to a point where I wish I could do a blood test at home #ThisGirlIsNotCrazy and know for sure what’s my HCG level!

NOT TO FORGET ALL OF THE OTHER DAYS OF THE CYCLE

And so much energy is spent trying to have a baby. Actually, I’m always peeing on a stick – or shoving in a tampon.

What my regular month looks like:

– Having my period from day 1 to day 7;

– Peeing on an ovulation test for day 7 to day 14 (You can’t miss the LH surge, seems all we have is 12 hours.);

– Impatience setting in from day 15 to day 24 ( and by impatience, I obviously mean to look up 40 000 times a day symptoms between the ovulation day and the missed day of your period) ;

– And on day 24, the routine starts over, peeing on a stick not knowing if this small egg has been fertilized…

Meanwhile, EVERY single symptom is analyzed. My breasts hurt like hell, my discharges aren’t as usual, I have stomachaches all day long, I think I have nausea. Don’t fool yourself, though! Your brain is only analyzing every movement of yours to try and see, understand if you are ever going to see the day where that lonely line meets its peer.

And your cycle comes to an end, you’re on your period again #Shit, and it begins again…

Mommies to be, if you’re like me, know that you’re not alone… A lot more people than you think are also trying to read between the lines? … ?… of a pregnancy test.

* https://www.thebump.com/a/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-pregnant

This post was translated from French to English by: