I’m kind of lost in my thoughts these days. Questioning everything, especially things I never thought I’d questioned not so long ago. Add to that; my body which changes every 8 seconds, and there I am, feeling lost in my own head.
It’s difficult to describe this feeling. It’s like all these hormones are bickering in my body, so much that it looks like they all want to come first.
Is it because I’m starting to realize that change is happening very quickly?
It might be that in the last 6 months I’ve turned everything upside down with us moving to a new house and a new city.
It’s probably all these answers, but the Palme d’Or is still going to the hormones.
I FEEL WEAK
Far from wanting to feel sorry for myself, but there are days when I can’t find the motivation. It’s not that I don’t love what I do, but sometimes I just feel weak (and it shows from the exterior too?).
That I have no energy, even though I sleep 8 to 10 hours a night, I feel weak.
It’s the best term I’ve found to describe how I feel.
THE PRESSURE TO ALWAYS DO MORE
Today, I’ve decided to put my to-do list aside and give myself time.
Like my boyfriend always says: “Enjoy it, you work from home, you’re the best person to benefit from this.”
That’s true, but out of fear of looking like a cowardly self-employed worker, I rarely allow myself that kind of day.
This may be where my next goal and motivation should be, to feel better and to better listen to myself. A practice that I will try to do more and more every day, but which isn’t well perceived in our society.
The busier you are, the better it looks.
Also, the more money you make, the more you look like the queen.
But this pregnancy makes me realize that I’m not that much of a queen after all – and I don’t need to be either.
I need to listen to myself. To let go of the phone and of the thousand online interactions to allow me to find my way through all these changes.
One day at a time, as we say.
And you, did you start questioning yourself when you were pregnant?
This post was translated from French to English by:
Hello! I’m Cassandra, 23 years old and in my second year studying translation at Laval University in Quebec City. I’m learning to translate three languages: French, English and Chinese, which is both exhilarating and challenging! I love jogging, reading and travelling. I’ve just got back from a one-month-trip through Europe.