“Be a lady”: When Your Life Choices Do Not Please

Written by Valérie Pichet

Lately, I watched that video with Cynthia Nixon “Be a lady”. What it sates made me reflect on the true definition of being a modern woman. If you haven’t seen it yet, I highly recommend it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMKVO4zmahI&has_verified=1

To live alone, most certainly comes with its difficulties and trials, like everything else in life. On my part, I learned to find peace and to find solutions to the daily problems of living as a house owner. Learning to live alone was an intense path to follow, sometimes even too fierce for my 25-years-old-girl’s small shoulders.

Instead of people, I chose animals to surround myself with. The house was quickly filled with creatures and, without knowing, they fill a void that sometimes lurks around. Their warmth and energy are now essential to me. We can even speak of passion! So after two dogs, a cat, and four chickens, I consider the family whole.

I started living my life according to my girls (as I call them) overnight, just as I would with children. They come first, and that’s my choice. I also now can build wooden shelters and accessories for them. My last creations are these dog training modules:

SLICE OF LIFE

Too proud of my creation made out of wood scraps and leftover paint (to give it a little personal touch) that I made in only a few hours on a Saturday morning, I send some pictures of it to my friends. In my Snapchat story, I shared all the steps of my crafting of the day. I was happy until I received these messages:

« I can’t believe you built this all on your own?» and my response: « Well, it sure ain’t the neighbour who did for me! »

« Careful with the saw, it’s sharp! » and I respond: « No, really? I didn’t know! :O »

These messages, a little condescending, made me realize we still have to go some distance before we reach men-women equity. I’m on the right path to my independence, and that kind of comment enrages me. I sometimes get told by older women that living alone is a fantasy of mine and that my standards are just too high, which is why I scare men away. That I should lower my standards so I won’t end up “spinster.” That my life choices aren’t right.

BUT THEY’VE GOT IT ALL WRONG

Here, I’m talking to you! You who think your life choices aren’t worth it since everybody judges them. You who believe that you won’t achieve anything by yourself. You who feel bad being a strong woman. You need to change the way you see things! You’re as capable as anybody.

I also try to shut up the male chauvinists around me, asking “what’s a pretty young lady like you doing alone” I don’t know if it’s because I live in a rural area or my work area where mentalities are 40 years behind. I do know that I’m sick of being diminished only because I’m a woman.

I’m also often told that it’s my own fault if men bring me down on what I say or do. To be honest, their comments tend less to get to me. I let them speak because the idea of the woman’s place being in the kitchen is wrong. It’s also wrong to say we don’t have the right to our own opinion. I want to encourage you to continue to stand tall for your believes that you’re a sight to see.

The true beauty behind all of this is the confidence that you breathe when you walk head-high, knowing where you’re going. It’s your glowing self that shines when you’re feeling good about yourself, about your mind. It’s to watch you go and follow your passions every single day of your life. To see you happy is candy to the eyes of the people passing by in your life. The only good piece of advice I want to give you is to stop listening to all these comments. The rest will come on its own.

Doing what we love, that’s where we belong!

This post was translated from French to English by: